May 25 - National Towel Day

WHY A TOWEL?  Well ... 

"... a towel ... is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch-hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini-raft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough."

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

SO.  In honor of towel day I am going to carry one around with me all day and see who asks why I am carrying it.  When they do (and some will), instead of going into afore-quoted Adams passage, I plan to nod and say one of these brief responses, whether they make sense to the situation or not:

"Mostly harmless."  OR
"So long and thanks for all the fish." OR
"Time is an allusion; lunchtime doubly so." OR ...

...my favourite ... I will simply nod and say, "42."

May 24 - Scavenger Hunt Day

I celebrated this day by finding a school library book in the depths of one of our cars in order to not have to pay $15 for it on the last day of school.  Go me!!

Um, I'm a mom now.  Scavenger Hunt Day is EVERY day.

I'm done here.  ;-)

May 14 - Train Day

I  did not even mean to do this, but on train day our youngest and I took to the rails near our house.  It was a sudden decision and happened after we had sneaked out of the house to get some Thai food and DQ ... something we can't do with any other person in the house!  Then again, everyone likes DQ ... but I digress ...

We saw one gentleman who was there to watch after the junction and he was fine with us exploring.  Explore, we did.  We climbed the trains which were all freight rails and found a few ties that had come out at one point and rusted.  We were allowed to come home with a bag full of them.  We also had a bag full a memories ... most of them made up as we created completely-false-but-feasible stories about why the railroad spikes were there.

Train Day celebrates all things trains.  Enthusiasts about the humble beginnings of locomotive transportation to engineers creating the future of travel, groups across the USA are pondering the CHOO CHOO and gathering train stuff.

Yet I could not keep myself from giggling because I kept singing Boil that Cabbage Down a la The Smothers Brothers and resisted the urge to look over my shoulder for vicious pumas in the crevasses.

Happy Train Day, aficionados!  This is for you.  ;-)

May 13 - Friday the 13th - Blame Someone Else!

Today is National Blame Someone Else Day, an unofficial national day that was invented by Anne Moeller of Michigan around 1982 or something.  Apparently one morning her alarm failed to go off ... followed by a string of bad luck throughout the day ... which happened to be Friday the 13th.

Sounds like she had Alexander's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day ... and got back at it by making it a national holiday??  Waaaa waaaaa waaaaaaaa ....  baby.  But I jest.  Since I don't know what things happened to her I have no room to tease-whine, but I must say that this stupid Friday the 13th gets way more traction than it should.  I mean, equal employment act was adopted on Friday the 13th in October of 1967.  THAT'S awesome.  Also, Benjamin Franklin said that famous quote about death and taxes.  I don't know if that's GOOD necessarily, but it's not entirely horrid.  For some.

I also heard the first nudist colony was founded in the UK on this day.  And I'll bet someone got lucky that day too.  It may be Friday the 13th and if something inauspicious happens to me I am going to blame someone else for everything.  You know, like my kids do.  *wink*

Anyway, yeah, so maybe nothing AMAZING is celebrated or remembered on this day, but hey, it's just a day.  Someone wonderful is born and someone wonderful dies.  And life goes on.  

May 12 - Limerick Day

 There once was a girl from Nantucket...

Okay, so most people know THAT much and many only assume the following rhyme.  At any rate, it's limerick day and this day celebrates the birthday of English artist, author, poet and illustrator Edward Lear who is known for his nonsensical limericks.  The wee poems were popularized by his book of poetry which he aptly titled "Book of Nonsense."

Anyhoo...how to celebrate...how to celebrate...hmmm I just don't KNOW!  *wink*

I'm sitting right here on my arse

Trying to plot a new farce

I'll write it with Beth

It's not Cake or Death

But will end with the same two word parse!

May 11 - Eat What You Want Day

Score.  I'm going to Starbucks.  To celebrate EAT WHAT YOU WANT DAY I am going to share with you something off the Secret Menu at Starbucks.  For you Harry Potter fans, have you ever wanted to take your muggle-self to Hogsmeade?  Have a Butterbeer at ye olde starbucks by asking for a creme frappuccino base (don't skip on the fat on this one--considering the day and all--whole milk gives it a better consistency).  Add 3 pumps of caramel syrup, 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup, and top that baby with caramel drizzle.  Sound like it could kill you with sugar?  This is possible, but you're a wizard and all ... you've cheated death before.  Oooo!  And this also makes a lovely latte.

Fiction is great, isn't it?

Oh yeah, and there is a Green Master Frappuccino for Star Wars fans who consider Yoda their personal trainer.  Ask for a Green Tea Frappuccino, add java chips, and then top it with whipped cream and caramel drizzle.  OR try a Storm Trooper Frappuccino by starting with a Vanilla Ceme Frappuccino made with syrup (not powder) and top it with whipped cream and mocha drizzle.

Sounds like a yummy, fun thing to include in Eat What You Want Day ... besides, we all know there is really no "secret menu" there.  I know I'm pushing the eat what you want idea with #nevermindDRINKcrapanddie.  Anyhoo, just ask for what you want; these are recipes that people who have a strong caffeine addiction have created and SB is more than happy to fill their bank account with money for your personal creations.  

Maybe to celebrate this day I am going to make up my OWN drink.  Hmmm ... hmmmm ... I know!  The Theatre Diva Latte.  It's an empty cup, of course.  If you're a good actor, no one will know!

May 8 - NO SOCKS DAY

In honour of NO SOCKS DAY, I took a picture of this in my laundry room.  

Enough said?

May 7 - Barrier Awareness Day

Visible and invisible barriers are equally difficult to overcome.  With support, deliberate learning and mindfulness these obstacles can be raised and enable people with disabilities to live more liberated and self-fulfilled lives.  I can think of several people I know who have some form of disability but their determination to ignore naysayers and live out their dreams is nothing short of inspirational.  My impulse is to list a few but I dare not draw attention to a disability.  Instead, I will tell you what they do and pass on the inspiration.  Here are some things that have been accomplished by people I know personally with a serious disability:  hairdresser, preacher, mechanic, actor, singer, author, teacher, and athletic class instructor.

I did not begin with the famous … Beethoven, Van Gogh, Frido Kahlo, Stephen Hawking.  And how about freaking Helen Keller?  All of these people did not want to be known for their physical difficulties, they ... just ... did.  So, let me pass on one word of advice on this day which was passed on to me by a hearing impaired friend.  "Telling someone they are 'inspirational' can be just as insulting as focusing on the disability."   

Capische?   May that little nugget inspire all of us to ... just ... DO.

Oh ... and P.S. ... it is also Naked Gardening Day. So I'm going to tear that barrier down right now!  *wink*

May 6 - Beverage Day

Well ... this could be fun.

I am currently at a Thai café in order to write before I meet a friend because I still want to give her this much belated birthday gift.  Therefore ...

I am going to try the sugar cane drink.  And this scares me ... a lot.  Pure sugar cane water or what?  What IS it?  I like to suck on sugar cane in Honduras on occasion but ... ew?  I almost changed my mind and ordered sweet tea like a true southerner but I hate it when others do that ... AND I did not know it was the theme of the day until I read my list.  So I am challenged.  I'm doing it.

I have to wait because they are brewing it.  Good sign.  I hope.  *jeopardy theme here*

Okay.  I hate it.  BUT that is just an opinion, it's not horrid (not spew-worthy), and it does remind me of my old home in the aforementioned deep, DEEP south.   Not the deep south of Texas or even Tennessee ... I meant the one where I sucked on sugar cane in a mango tree.

Apparently this day celebrates ALL beverages ... and not just the coffee that many hungover Americans are drinking today.  #cincodemayo #seisdeborrachos

So kick back and enjoy your favourite drink today.  May it be an afternoon of pleasure and relaxation.  Or suck on some sugar cane.  #HURRYUPBETHBEFOREIGETSOMETHINGWEIRD

-ER.

Peace out.

I hope I'm at the right place...

May 4 - National Star Wars Day

Well, if there were ever a holiday that encapsulated a culture ...

Star Wars originally opened in theatres late in May of 1977.  Two years later in the same month, on, well, May 4, a Danish writer sent a congratulatory message to Margaret Thatcher who had on the same day taken office as the prime minister.  She referenced the (quickly becoming) iconic film and congratulated her by saying, "May the 4th be with you, Maggie."  *giggle giggle snort snort*  Years later (somewhere in the 90s) this phrase was smirkingly repeated in Parliament but it wasn't until a few years ago that this day was to become an actual international holiday ... and geek cheers were heard around the world.

Okay, my claim to geekdom is the fact that I have, in fact, stood in line on opening night for every last film, including the first two in 1977 and 1980 with my dad, in 1983 with my freshmen bffs, in 1999 as a newlywed with my hubby, a groomsman and his really cool dad in tow, in 2002 and 2005 with Dave (of course), and in 2015 for the latest installment we were in line wearing handmade "I love you/I know" matching sweatshirts.  We also have matching bracelets with the same reference.  Does that make us crazy?  Oh HECK yeah ... and we plan to pass it on to the kids this December. *grin*

Yep, celebrating by dressing up as a storm trooper or hosting a movie marathon is completely acceptable (and expected!) on this day.  As for me, I am celebrating by writing this blurb and I'll just continue wearing my Star-Wars-Muppet mashup t-shirt, but I may also put blue food colouring in my son's milk tonight à la Aunt Buru.  And, even though I am not a Catholic, I will probably not be able to help myself if anyone says to me, "May the fourth be with you," by responding,

                                                                                                         "...and also with you."  Tee hee hee.

If ONLY I had saved every ticket stub.  But in 1977 with episode IV ... I mean, really ... who knew?

May 3 - Paranormal Activity Day

Paranormal simply means out-of-the-realm of normal, or, er, what the larger population considers normal.  In that case, my entire life is paranormal!  But, I know you know what I mean.

Dare I take this opportunity to promote CAKE OR DEATH, a play which needs a few more productions in order to publish ... it is a comic farce that peeks into the life of Emily and her two cohabitants, Lenore and Freedom, ghosts who passed away twenty-two years apart in the same apartment.  As the story unfurls, Emily sheds light onto the deaths of her two cohabitants, only to find out that if they don't move quickly, she could be the next one to kick the bucket!  It is an incredibly entertaining play about life, death, metaphysics, Shakespeare, James Dean, and The Wizard of Oz.  Yeah, if there are any takers out there who would like to read the script, let me know!!!

But I digress.  ;)

Each year on this day, people who believe (or have simply experienced) paranormal activities are encouraged to share their experiences with each other.

So, let's do it!  Let's share some stuff that has happened to us that cannot be explained away by ordinary scientific measures.

Okay, I'll go first.

After moving into this house I woke up and saw a guy in a floppy hat sitting cross-legged on the little deacon's bench in our bedroom.  It kinda scared the living hooey out of me at first and then after he vanished I just went back to sleep.  I later heard from our neighbour that the previous owner, since deceased, used to wear a floppy hat and described the same one ... before I told her about this!

I've got a few more, but ... you go!

May 1 - Save the Rhino Day

Reginald was an angry rhinoceros.  

No one knew why he was angry.  He just was.  

Some rhinos are like that.  

Some people are like that too.

Reginald’s anger and generally bad mood 

quickly spread to all of the animals 

in the woodlands, marshes, grasslands, 

savannas, mud wallows, and shade trees. 

Reginald, who would rather go by “Redge,” 

thank you, was constantly angered by the 

tiniest thing.

Redge was a vegetarian.  

He never ate meat.  

He only ate leaves, buds and 

shoots of plants, bushes and trees.  He was especially fond of Acacia tree leaves. 

One day Redge was having lunch at Jasmine the Jackal’s place.  

They were laughing and having a good time until she brought in a plate of spaghetti … 

and MEAT balls!  This made Redge angry at Jasmine because she 

should have remembered that he never ate meat.

He stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed 

and yawped!  “Everyone knows Jackals don’t think of anyone but themselves!  

Bellowing tick birds, Jasmine!”  and charged out the door. 

Jasmine was stunned at his language and cried for two hours.

Later that day, Redge was drinking water at a nearby stream when he heard banjo music.

“That can’t be good,” he said.  Coming toward him on a bicycle was Quentin, 

a vervet monkey, riding hands-free and playing a banjo. “Hey Redge!”  he waved.

Redge tried to be nice.  “Do you want one of my jam sandwiches?”  “Sure!” Quentin said.

  He couldn’t believe Redge was being so pleasant.  

They sat by the stream and the monkey talked and talked and talked. 

“Thanks for the sandwich!”  Quentin said before tossed his banjo over his shoulders 

and got back on his bicycle.  But as he was about to ride off, Redge thought he saw several 

of the jam sandwiches in Quentin’s basket.  This made him mad.

Redge stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed 

and yawped!  “Everyone knows vervet monkeys steal things!  

Sweaty, hairless hippos, Quentin!”  and charged away. 

Quentin was hurt by his Redge’s words … and he rode home very sad.

Redge went to his favourite Acacia tree to sit under it, chew on its leaves, and pout … 

but when he arrived, he was surprised to see two giraffes had already eaten 

almost all of his leaves!  This made Redge really mad. 

He stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed 

and yawped! “Everyone knows giraffes are stupid and don’t take baths!  

Hump muzzled wildebeests!”  and charged away.

The giraffes were shocked at his language, but went back to chewing their leaves.

Redge was walking and pouting when he smelled something terrible.  

Then he looked around.  He had walked right into a pack of hyenas.

As he slowly backed away he backed right into a very odd looking hyena with a frying pan

 on his head. “Ow!”  said the hyena.  “You stepped on my foot!”   Redge was scared.

But the hyena only stuck out a paw and laughed. “That’s all right, friend.  Call me Hershey.” 

 Redge gingerly shook his paw.  “I didn’t catch your name, chum,” asked Hershey. 

 Redge took a deep breath.  “My name is … is … Reginald.”  There was silence. 

 A long silence.

Then one hyena started to giggle. 

And another. 

And another. 

And forty-two.  “Reginald!”  “That’s brilliant!”  “It’s fantastic!”  “What a funny name for a rhino!” 

The hyenas laugh was so contagious that Hershey, who was trying to contain himself, 

burst out into an uncontrollable laugh.  And Redge got angry.  Very angry. 

Redge stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed and 

yawped!  But the hyenas laughed harder.  “Oh my,” said Redge, “It IS a funny name…”

Yes, he stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; 
he screeched and squealed and yawped!  Thinking he was putting on a show, 
the hyenas laughed even harder than before.

So he stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed and  …   and …

    … giggled.  The hyenas’ cackles were so funny that Redge just could not stop his own 

laughter. 

Hershey finally caught his breath, “I’m sorry, Redge.  “We’re hyenas.  It’s what we do.  

Laughter is an instant vacation!  When you laugh, everyone is cheerful and relaxed.  

It makes you think a lot less of your problems … and it sure feels better than being mad.”  

Redge couldn’t believe it.  It DID feel better!  So instead …

He chuckled and giggled and snickered and hooted and chortled and gasped and wheezed!   

Then Hershey chuckled and giggled and snickered and hooted and chortled and 

gasped and wheezed!

Redge and the hyenas laughed on into the night and well into the next morning.  

Once Redge laughed so hard he fell down and rolled on his back and almost 

squashed poor Hershey, who had never seen a rhino laugh that much … 

which made him laugh even harder. 

They passed Quentin the Vervet Monkey, who was up in his tree, sadly playing his banjo.  

Then Redge noticed that what he saw in Quentin’s basket were not sandwiches at all, 

but blocks of Quentin’s favourite cheese! So he apologized, left all of his 

jam sandwiches with Quentin’s family, and decided he needed to get his eyes checked.

When they passed the grazing giraffes, they shared some leaves from the Acacia tree.

Even Jasmine the Jackal couldn’t help her laughter when Redge showed up 

at her door offering her a bouquet of Acacia leaves with a hyena on his shoulders! 

Reginald’s new laughter and generally good mood quickly spread to all 

of the animals in the woodlands, marshes, grasslands, savannas, mud wallows, 

and shade trees.

Reginald was a happy rhino.  No one knew why he was happy; he just was.  
Some rhinos are like that.  Especially Reginald.  Some people are like that too.

Apr 29- World Wish Day

When you wish upon a star ... or a wishbone ... or a penny ... your dreams may or may not come true.  But you know, if a deserving child is the recipient of the Make-A-Wish Foundation the odds are really in their favour.  This day isn't just about making a random wish and blowing out a dandelion, it is about making actual reality happen for those who are somehow in need because of a fight against a deadly illness.  Watch the inspiring origins of World Wish Day here:

April 29th is the day that inspired the foundation in 1980  and now celebrates the day in gratitude for the donors who make possible the life-changing wishes of a child in need, who may not see another year in his or her life.  And it started with how one community came together with this wish ... this one wish ... the unity, spirit, and universal emotion captivated on this day changed many children's short, short lives.  Even now, 35 years later ... wishes are still being granted.

April 28 - National Poetry Reading Day

Whan that aprill with his shoures soote

The droghte of march hath perced to the roote,

And bathed every veyne in swich licour

Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

Whan zephirus eek with his sweete breeth

Inspired hath in every holt and heeth

Tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne

Hath in the ram his halve cours yronne,

That is all I remember by memory without prompting of the prologue to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, although if someone prompts the first two words of whatever line I forget, I can totally do it.   Thank you, senior English teacher.  I can admit to looking up the spelling, though.  And since it happens to be an April 'holiday,' I went there first.  "Whan that aprill..."

Thank heavens for theatre so I could feed this brain that memorizes so well.  Although ... it IS kind of a curse that I remember whole plays years after I've done them.  That and I can still quote the entire Robin Hood movie, Disney version ... at least every part that was on the LP.  But I digress.

However, to celebrate National Poetry Day I am going to recite Roald Dahl's version of Cinderella from Revolting Rhymes, which I bought in Vienna years ago and just found in the garage this morning while looking for something else.  They are insanely easy and I used them when I dressed as either Lady Boo, Lady Christmas, or Lady Marmalade (don't go there lol) and told stories in elementary school classes.  I'm not going to recite it RIGHT HERE because those are insanely long.  I am either going to make my 4th grader listen to me or just do it on the front porch and draw attention to myself.

Apr 27 - Morse Code Day

- .... .. ...  .. ...  -- -.--  -... .-.. --- --. .-.-.-  .. ..-.  -.-- --- ..-  .... .- ...- .  - .... .  .--. .-. --- .--. . -. ... .. - -.--  - ---  -.. . -.-. .. .--. .... . .-.  - .... .. ...  -.-. --- -.. . --..--  - .... . -.  -.-- --- ..-  .- .-. .  -- -.--  .... . .-. --- .-.-.-  - .... .  .--. . --- .--. .-.. .  ..  .- -.-. - ..- .- .-.. .-.. -.--  - .... .. -. -.-  .-- --- ..- .-.. -..  -.. ---  .. -  -.--. .. ..-.  - .... . -.--  .... .- .--. .--. . -. . -..  - ---  -.-. .- - -.-. ....  - .... .. ... -.--.-  .- .-. .  .--- . ..-. ..-. .-. . -.--  .-- .. .-.. .-.. .. .- -- ...  .- -. -..  -.- . .-.. .-.. -.--  .-.. .- .--. -.-. --.. -.-- -. ... -.- .. .-.-.-  .-. --- -...  .-- .. .-.. ... --- -.  -- .. --. .... -  .- .-.. ... ---  -.. ---  .. -  .. ..-.  .... .  .. ...  -... --- .-. . -..  . -. --- ..- --. ....  .. -.  .-  -.-. --- ..-. ..-. . .  ... .... --- .--. .-.-.-  .-.. --- .-..

.... ..  --. ..- -.-- ...!

-. --- .--  .... . .-. .  .. ...  -- -.--  -- . ... ... .- --. . ---...
.----. .... --- .--. . .----.  .. ...  - .... .  - .... .. -. --.  .-- .. - ....  ..-. . .- - .... . .-. ...—
- .... .- -  .--. . .-. -.-. .... . ...  .. -.  - .... .  ... --- ..- .-..—
.- -. -..  ... .. -. --. ...  - .... .  - ..- -. .  .-- .. - .... --- ..- -  - .... .  .-- --- .-. -.. ...—
.- -. -..  -. . ...- . .-.  ... - --- .--. ...—.- -  .- .-.. .-..—

.- -. -..  ... .-- . . - . ... -—.. -.  - .... .  --. .- .-.. .—.. ...  .... . .- .-. -..—
.- -. -..  ... --- .-. .  -- ..- ... -  -... .  - .... .  ... - --- .-. --—
- .... .- -  -.-. --- ..- .-.. -..  .- -... .- ... ....  - .... .  .-.. .. - - .-.. .  -... .. .-. -..
- .... .- -  -.- . .--. -  ... ---  -- .- -. -.--  .-- .- .-. --—

.. .----. ...- .  .... . .- .-. -..  .. -  .. -.  - .... .  -.-. .... .. .-.. .-.. . ... -  .-.. .- -. -..—
.- -. -..  --- -.  - .... .  ... - .-. .- -. --. . ... -  ... . .-—
-.-- . - --..--  -. . ...- . .-. --..--  .. -.  . -..- - .-. . -- .. - -.-- --..--
.. -  .- ... -.- . -..  .-  -.-. .-. ..- -- -...—--- ..-.  -- . .-.-.-

-.--. -. --- .--  --..-- --..-- --..--  ..  .-- --- -. -.. . .-.  .. ..-.  .... . .-.  -.. .- ... .... . ...  .-. . .- .-.. .-.. -.--  - .... .-. --- .--  --- ..-. ..-.  - .... .  -- --- .-. ... .!-.--.-  

Apr 26 - Hug a Friend Day

Let your friends know how special they are.  Here is my virtual hug to some of them.  I could say so much about so many friends who have touched my life but I am narrowing it down to three very close friends I have known for around 10 years and are living in Nashville.

• Beth, you are my partner in literary crime and so enjoy the creativity and laughter that you bring out in me.  I don't remember whose place you took in the play where we met, but I certain I would not have felt so challenged, loved, and special as I do knowing you.  The pajamas you gave me after the flood have lots of holes now, but they also give me a hug so I dare not part with them ... or YOU!  Ever.  Get used to it.  ;-)

• Daniel, it's so nice to have a friend who I do not have to see or hang out with for months at a time but when we finally do, it's real, it's important, it's fun, and it's usually intense.  All of those could apply to everything we've ever done together...sometimes we are just fulfilling one of those as a close-friend-need and sometimes we find a way to do them all at once on my back porch ... with spirits.  Love ya, man.

• Julie, we have known each other for much longer than ten years and somehow we were brought together in the same city ... again.  Your face is a blessing.  Your home is a blessing.  Your stories, fact or fiction, are a blessing in so many ways.  Our times together grow more and more meaningful with each meeting or new experience or even trauma.  You mean WAY more to me than my luggage and we really should have collected a journal of inside jokes, Tawanda.  I love you, truly.

Let your friends know how important they are to you by giving them a hug.  This virtual hug is real, but it can't beat the "bonding" hormone oxytocin that the body releases when given a real hug.  Do it.  Don't wait.  I'll bet they need one too.  ;-)

Apr 25 - Eeyore's Birthday

I started writing this blog entry, but it doesn't matter.

I found this cute picture, if you care about that kind of thing.

It is (apparently) Eeyore's birthday.  He is (or ... was?) a quirky, sad donkey from The Hundred Acre Wood, who has a penchant for gloomy ruminations, or so says Tigger. But his particular outlook on life produces some pretty great (and perfectly deadpan) witticisms, don't you think?

Or do you even care?  ;-)

My favourite quote which I have often repeated is this: 

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So, it is."
"And freezing."
"Is it?"
"Yes," said Eeyore.  "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."

Now, how 'bout that for positive thinking?  Happy birthday, sad dude.  Here's some Wellbutrin.

Apr 24 - National Pet Parents Day

Notice that the cat is saying nothing to it's parents?  Typicsl.

National Pet Parents Day is observed annually on the last Sunday in April.

There is a very special connection, a unique bond, between a pet and its owner.  This unique relationship, which can often last for many years, is often a vital part of the ‘pet parents’ life.  Their loved pets are considered to be a member of the family.

 I memorized all my pets when I was in third grade.  I was so proud to say that I had, "a dog, a cat, 13 fish, a gerbil, and a turtle."  My poor parents!  Only child syndrome, maybe, but they were all my good friends.  We had parties and stuff.  I included the barbies because they didn't balk when I adjusted their costumes ...

National Pet Parents Day was created to honor all dedicated pet parents across the nation with a special day of their own. That's today.  It's MY day, bitches.

Gus is the cat at the theatre door.  Yep, that's where we found her.   Lakewood Theatre backstage door, 2005, a few weeks after we had just adopted Rosie, named after the previous owner of our house.  

Sonic, our dog, came to us as he crawled through the open window of a car as someone drove by me in the adjoining neighbourhood and said, "Is this yours?"  He wasn't and I tried to find his owners, but, just like Satchel, who had passed immediately following the flood, HE found US and ... we kept him.

We are also currently keeping a kitty on our back porch in hopes to find it a home.  But we've named it.  Uh oh.  And ...

Does my iguana count?

I have not changed since third grade.  My poor husband!  Folks, I have a disease. ;-)

April 23 - Talk Like Shakespeare Day

talking as the Bard is quite a dare 
tis neith'r h're n'r th're
but i can speak as that gent at which hour i hath chosen -- aye, doth anywh're 
if 't be true thee tryeth to disagreeth i shall fig thee f'rthwith and i shall doeth it with a rhyme

So.  Yeah.

Apr 22 - Earth Day

I admit to being a hippie type so Earth Day, as some say, 'is my jam.'  But I don't see recycling, planting trees, or shredding my junk mail as hippie.  I kinda see it as a decent attempt at stewardship, yeah?

I decided to make a few pledges to myself and the environment each earth day even though I don't make a big deal about it.  Sometimes I can be really bad at these things too, so I figure if I make it a personal goal then maybe, just maybe, I'll make an itty bitty difference.  One year I decided to shred all our junk mail.  This year it is not to leave the water running while I brush my teeth and, except for the ones I plant myself, to only buy vegetables from the Amish farmer's market.

It might seem simple to make tiny goals, but I have failed at a couple of them before because I made too many.  There are things I do as a regular basis now, but only because I started out only doing that one thing instead of trying to overwhelm myself with new ideas.

Oh, and the shredding is to feed my garden worms so they can poop it out and recycle their own waste to fertilize my vegetable garden.  Anyhoo ... Happy Earth Day!

Apr 21 - World Kindergarten Day

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.  That mysth is more potent than history.  That dreams are more powerful than facts.  That hope always triumphs over experience.  That laughter is the only cure for grief.  And I believe that love is strong than death."  Amen.

It is World Kindergarten Day.  All I know about this is that kindergarten was started in Germany ... in and around the 1860s after Prussia kind of outlawed it ... but after the guy who tried to start them passed away the law was abolished or something.  This holiday is on his birthday and his name was Friedrich Froebe.  I have no idea why the education of little ones was outlawed in the first place because getting a jump start on reading and writing is, erm, kinda helpful, but whatever.  Good for Froebe though.

The early school years are usually full of excitement, growth, wonder ... Fulghum's instantly popular book offers up a great list of things we learn in those formative that stay with us for the rest of our lives.  I just feel very sad for kids who have been deprived of that first year.  I live with two of them.  I hope in some way we can back track their process just a little ... enough to make a difference and bring back the wonder.

"And then tremember the Dick and Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK."

(above two quotes from Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten)

Apr 20 - Previously on SLICED BY A CLOUD ...

May your cotton mouth be quenchable ... and your munchies delectable.  I mean, I only have one friend who will know why I chose that title.  And it's just between us forever and ever amen.  Happy 4/20.  And pass it on to a friend.  *wink wink*

Apr 19 - International Juggler's Day

I decided not even to look up the details of this day.  It could be about juggling, the manipulation of objects for sport ... I think my cousin did this for a while and was quite good at it.  It could be about the appreciation of said sport.  But I'll bet it is not.  I'll bet it is about my freaking life.

Now that I am teaching part-time I only have two days in which to get 525, 600 things accomplished.  This is on top of knowing 20 people will be at our home tomorrow night and the house isn't clean.  I mean, you know how much I love watching Tyrone work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it.  I'm swamped!  Since it is International's Juggler's Day and I AM swamped, I am going to read this again to get some perspective.  I hope it can encourage you, too.

OUR DOG LIKES PINK

"See how the flowers of the field grow.  They do no labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  if that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you - you of little faith?"  Matt 6:28-30

Apr 18 - Pet Owners Independence Day

 Our fur babies get to stay home while we 'bring home the bacon.'  What would YOUR pet do if he or she had to work in your place?  The possibilities are endless.  My cats would flip my students off and sleep. Because they're cats.  My dog, however ...

(Earlier this morning to the secretary at my current employment ...)

"Hi, I'm Sonic.  I love you!"

"You have Sonic?  Put it in the teacher's lounge please."

"No, I AM Sonic.  That's my name."

"Lovely.  What are you doing here?"

"It's Pet Owner's Independence Day.  My owner told me I had to come in and teach her class!  AND I LOVE YOU!"

"Her classroom is upstairs.  Here's your temporary ID.  Please don't pee on the elevator."

"Darn it!  Okay!  I love you!"

"Indeed."

(secretary to a co-worker) "Concerning that pee ... does he know the classes are 90 minutes long?"

(dog, hearing from the hallway) "DARN IT!"

----------------------------------------------------

Yes, Pet Owner's Independence Day is a national holiday.  I am not making this up.

Apr 17 - High Fives, Haikus, Bats, and Cheese Balls ... *blah blah blah*

Every day there are a slew of national holidays, be they weird and wacky or proper and practiced.  Under the weird/wacky subtitle, Apr 17 sings the praises of bats, cheese balls, haikus and the hearty high five.  I often choose just one holiday, but this timeI focused on bats with a sidebar or two.

I have two main memories with these particularly creepy chiropteras.  My first thoughts go to the ranch in Olancho, Honduras where I worked in the late 80s and early 90s.  One of the rooms had quite a nest of bats one had to avoid at night ... especially in bunks.  I still remember doctoring the forehead of a young girl who, from a top bunk, heard fluttering around and sat right up in bed at just the time a bat was about to fly directly over her.  There was quite a kerfuffle in that room after she HIGH FIVED the bat with her noggin.

Another bat-related memory is how I met some of my dearest friends in Nashville, including my close pal Jeffrey, who played the titular role in a theatrical production of Bat Boy: The Musical at Street Theatre Company while I was assisting with props (I found a cow's head!)  and I sang a few bars as a random character.  For those who are not familiar with Off Broadway sensations, this show is a hysterical macabre story around the tabloid claim that a half bat/half human child was found in a cave.  And yes, this is a photo of Jeffrey, either singing or wailing or both ... I can't remember.  It was all pretty "CHEESEBALL."

Jeffrey Williams in Bat Boy, 2007 
(Photo courtesy of Jose Herrera)

I will now celebrate all five holidays with one haiku:

High five to the bat

who ate a big cheeseball and

then sang, "Blah-blah-blah..."

It also happens to be BLAH BLAH BLAH Day, a day to put off stalled projects ... which I am celebrating anyway just by writing this blog here, so there.

Apr 16 - National Record Store Day

Does anyone else love the smell of vintage 33 covers?

I took a quick photo of these records I saw at The Great Escape, each of which I have either owned, listened to at my cousin's, or, in the case of these, happened to be show that my friend Dan was in and, well, there was a whole lot of Babs at his place too.  Anyhoo, I can't believe it has been this long in life and it finally dawns on me that my love of all things musical theatre was passed on from my parents.  There were a number of contemporary hits in their collection, but as I flipped through these records I saw some REALLY familiar ones from my parents' stash ... Zero Mostel: Fiddler on the Roof, Finian's Rainbow, Camelot, The Man of La Mancha, The Music Man, My Fair Lady, Carol Burnett: Once Upon a Mattress, Mary Martin: Peter Pan .... and I knew every word.  Especially the Camelot score. "Don't let it be forgot ..." 

I grabbed and purchased most of them at the record store today.  FOR CHEEEEEAAAAAP!  Oh yeah, and Damn Yankees ... which my parents did NOT own (preacher's family and all lol).  I discovered the love of that score from a college roomie, Martha, who IF I am remembering correctly, played Lola once upon a time.  So my decision to fly by the record store when I realized what day it is made me also fly through some awesome memories.

I can almost smell the aging covers now ... well, possibly because they are all over the bed as I type.  I enjoy this particular sensory overload.  Oh yeah!  My husband gave me a phonograph for Christmas ... now to decide which one I shall enjoy first!

  

Apr 15 - What the Fish-sticks?

Take a wild guess what today's national holiday is.  Some goon decided it would be funny to petition for a random holiday and, just guessing it might be a hit, he went for it.  And low and behold, he got it.

Are you feeling lucky?  Maybe this is your chance do this on a multiple choice exam and it would probably be your only option in playing Charades, Hangman, and 20 Questions.  Or maybe you are wondering if your crush likes you back...yep, to mirror the lead sentence in this paragraph it is TAKE A WILD GUESS DAY.  Hardy har har.

Aaaaaaaaand take a wild guess how interesting I think this day is.

Apr 14 - Dolphin Day

"We were born with our freedom; we were born with the truth."
(The Dolphin Song, ONJ)

WHY IT WOULD BE COOL TO BE A DOLPHIN:

Constantly hanging out with and building strong bonds with friends.

Always appearing to be content!

There would always be someone to 'bring me to the surface' when I feel like I am 'in too deep.'

I could dislodge a parasite just by leaping (imagine the quote fingers around the operative p-word there).  *wink*

I wish humans could also travel by jumping ... it saves dolphins energy whereas I'm tired just thinking about it.

Man, I'd love to travel by the jet stream of a boat without getting lacerated!

And last but not least, I'd love to be able to hear things other people can't hear.  I'm evil that way.
tee hee hee

Apr 13 - World Scrabble Day

On this day, I thank MOLLY DAWIDOW who, with her homemade chicken salad and smarts taught me how to tackle the Scrabble board while I was living in Vienna, Austria.  I think we may have played for three days straight.  I was never the same again.  Happy Scrabble Day!

I also wish ARLENE MILLER a Happy Scrabble Day, who could kill the board as we wiled away the hours with the gift we both gave each other one Christmas ... a hefty Scrabble dictionary.  I still have mine!

And I thank TIM WOODROOF, who gave me some great hints on bluffing like a heartless bastard.  ;-)  Love you!  Happy World Scrabble Day, old friend!

I also wish LANE WRIGHT a Happy Scrabble Day and thank him for being about the only person who can beat me without cheating.  Like, at ALL.  Except for maybe this next guy ...

So, I wish RYAN GREENAWALT a Happy Scrabble Day and a request to rectify our lack of a personal scrabble tournament sooner than later.  Miss you, dude!

And to everyone else, I wish on you the opportunity to use a word like oxyphenbutazone, which will ensure you win the game no matter when you play it.  And with that, K-W-Y-J-B-O.  Game's over.  I'm outa here.

Apr 12 - Walk on Your Wild Side Day

Today is apparently the day I am supposed to throw caution to the wind.  Mmm kay, since I have done this numerous times and most of those attempts have been embarrassing, I will suck it up and share ... for your laughter's sake.  Yeah, the first two "wild side" memories are ... well, nude oopsies.

--One year as a counselour at White River Youth Camp I decided to wake the other leaders up in the girls' bathroom by prancing out of the shower nude and singing Good Mornin' from Singin' in the Rain.  I really put my heart into it ... but I slid on a bar of soap and slipped right out the door.  I will never knew if anyone outside the bathroom caught my naked arse as it slipped and slid all over the wet tile floor trying to crawl back inside as quickly as possible.

--Skinny dipping in Honduras in the ocean turned out to be a show for the helicopter flying above us ... because I was doing a back float.

--One of the best relationships I had in college was a special friendship with David Gregor.  What a nut!  I was very comfortable with him as a bro and he harassed me mercilessly.  One of his favourites things to embarrass me with would be to slap me on the butt in public and say, 'Sudden urge, Anj."  My face would peak red immediately.  A summer had passed between two semesters and I missed my pal ... I had also found some courage because I had the same public "affection" ready for him when he returned from the National Guard.  I waited patiently in the student center for his contagious laughter ... then I saw him, reading the booklist posted on the bookstore window.  I sneaked behind chairs and pillars and people until I got close enough to -- WHACK! -- and smack him  on the derriere.  YES!  Got him!  Ho HO!  HA HA! "Hey Dave!!!"  Nothing.  "Dave?"  Yeah, it wasn't Dave.  I was flustered and all I could muster to say when he turn, confused, was, "UH ... sudden urge?"

--I invited a guy to a club banquet; a guy in whom I had quite a lot of interest.  Apparently, he did too.  When we were on a romantic stroll by a riverbank after the festivities, we decided to sit back on an embankment and chat.  Then it got cozy.  We mutually decided to move a ways down on that retaining wall and smooch a little.  Then we also mutually decided to kiss and lean bank on that embankment. It was so dark we hadn't realized that in this space further down ... there was no embankment.  Eric broke my fall!  Lucky for ME.  Unlucky for HIM, I had to take him to the ER with a concussion.  Now THAT was hard to explain the the doctor ... who then chose to congratulate us on the semi-successful date.  ;-)

There are many more tales of my embarrassing moments.  Oh, so many more.  Maybe someday I'll share about body surfing the waves in the Pacific Ocean.  Yes, naked.  I'm so weird.

Apr 11 - Parkinson's Disease Day

I miss my Pop.  He was a handsome, sweet man named Raymond J. Smith.  I remember very little about him, but since he died of this yucky disease, I feel moved to recall everything I can.

• He was born in 1899.  Yeah, really.
• He was an elder in the churches of Christ.
• He and Myrtle O'Quinn ("Mom") had three kids, the very youngest being my mother, Patricia Anne, who was so much younger than her siblings, who were 18 and 10 years her senior.
• Pop had a gruff laugh that was so gruff sounding it made me giggle anyway.
• He and "Mom" met and married in Kermit, Texas where he worked in the oil fields for a time.
• After they moved to Lubbock, TX they went to Ireland on a mission trip and brought back a teenager who lived with them until they both passed and still lives in that very house today.  I consider her my Aunt Margaret.
• He had so many clocks in his house that it sounded like a chorus of bells when they chimed because he set them each about a minute or less apart (a couple of years after he passed, I walked into the ten Boom's house in Germany right at the hour and the sound of the chimes made me burst into tears because it was in his home and on his encouragement that I first came to know of their inspirational story).
• We gave him a beautiful grandfather clock for his 80th birthday; this clock now resides in the entryway of my parents' house.
• I think my first ever shared cup of coffee was with my Pop ... when I was 12.
• He used to listen to LP records on a really old phonograph that smelled strongly and sweetly of the past every time it was opened.
• When he called to someone in the house, his gruff voice started with, "OH!"  "OH, Anne!  OH, Margaret!  OH, Mollie!  OH, Angie!"
• My last memories of him were calling out to me that way when he needed his catheter changed.  Once, I boldly told him I was going to put it in a jar, label it "Pop's Pee" and put it by my bedside.  Yeah, I never did that.  I got a great laugh from him though.  The last one I remember.
• He came to my high school graduation earlier that year and really had to shuffle to get there.  He passed that December.

My Pop was actually quite luckier than most who are diagnosed with Parkinson's as it was not until the last few years of his life that he struggled with it.  Because of my age and where we were living during various years, I was unable to really get to know him except at Christmas.  But those times were pretty awesome.  I wish he could have met David because he would have approved to the point of applause.  Anybody who knew Pop would giggle at that because ... applause??  Oh yes, he would have.  David and I were married the weekend anniversary of his passing.

Apr 10 - International Safety Pin Day

Well, it is a day to celebrate siblings, the salvation army, and farm animals ... all very noble celebrations ... but just as salient is ... *drum roll please* ... the safety pin.

I guess then it is also a day to celebrate simplicity and practicality because according to legend, a dude named Walter Hunt invented the safety pin in 1849 in order to earn the money for a debt he owed.  Simple.  Ingenious.  Safe.  Brilliant.

I pretty much only use them for crafts, gaping blouses, and to find the stupid drawstring in those blasted pajama bottoms.  So I suppose if it weren't for Mr. Hunt's debt I would be still be giving people crappy craft fails and flashing my boobs to the unsuspecting.  However, I don't think my husband would complain too much about the disappearing drawstring. ;-)

Still ... high five, Hunt.