March 15 - BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!!

Okay, it is March 15, 2016 as I write this ... and I am making sure I have a good view of the rest of the house.  It originally became creepy because of the Romans' heeby-jeeby like superstitions about the turning point in Spring (see Julius Caesar soothsayer), supposedly determined by the full moon which comes out about this time.  Sure, it is a widely held (although fairly unjustified) belief in some kind of supernatural causation leading to certain consequences, but hey, I might as well be careful of all things suspicious, yes?  We-e-e-e-l-l-l-l, as per Shakespeare's take on it, Caesar said of the soothsayer, "He is a dreamer; let us leave him," I was thinking he could have just heeded the warning and watched his next choices and steps.  For example, it is also EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS WRONG DAY along with BUZZARDS DAY.  Even though these are fairly inauspicious holidays. with the thought that the Ides as a time of transition, I am going to choose to take heed by thinking this way:

Everything You Think is Wrong Day cracks me up ... but you know, it might also be a good day to try and avoid using the words “I think ...”, especially on social media!  This particular day may be a time for all to contemplate our own lack of knowledge.  It is okay that one does not know everything, and if there is a need to feel as if you do, hold on. Tomorrow will be here soon and then once again, you can think that you do!  Ya know?  ;-)

Yes, the latter, Buzzards Day, is a real thing.  There are a pocket of people who celebrate these turkey vultures.  This annual celebration of a bird whose circling overhead which (was a signal to the cowboys of old that a once living creature had met its demise) seems strange to say the least!  But, you know what?  I do appreciate the folks on the positive side of this holiday who propose that this graceful, winged creature with its bald head and red beak signals, not death, but rebirth.  There are even joyous family celebrations who attend a Buzzard Sunday for festive family fun that celebrates the return of this flying precursor to spring.

Death and rebirth.

I like that.  Do you know, I do?  Put it on my luggage.

MARCH 14 - National Pi Day

I know it is not thanksgiving, but this is what my mathematician husband wears on a the fourth Thursday in November ... because I got it for him and he's nice enough to give me the nod.  Yep, while it is also true that PIE is yummy, it is also round in shape ... which is significant.  Forgive my mind, which gears itself toward the creative (meaning I can only say this from memory, thanks to theatre).  PI is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to the diameter - a mathematical constant I know nothing about but is approximately equal to 3.14 and a lot of other never-ending numbers.   So, yeah.  It is widely used by engineers, teachers, students and others of their ilk to solve math problems.  My husband is one of those.  Oh and then, and speaking of ilk, there is also one of my theatre buds and dear pal Daniel who probably not only understands this, but may have at least a very good portion of it memorized.  Damn you, creative friend who also happens to be smart.  And also Julie, a numbers-brain who is truly a fantastic writer (although I'm not sure if she agrees).  Damn, you, I say!  I mean, um, ding dang you?  ANYway, I am going to now throw a PI in your face.  *snort*  See what I did there?  Yes, yes,  I know you did.  I've just noticed that people like to end comments in such a way when they are desperate for attention or feeling needy.  Today though all I really need is PIE.  Someone come make me one NOW; I'm on a diet.  Aww shoot, it's also National Potato Chip Day???  *crunch*

OH yeah, it's also the birthday of Albert Einstein.  Seriously.  I am not making this up.

March 13 - OPEN AN UMBRELLA INDOORS DAY

Actually, it is also National Jewel Day.  Pfft!  Who on earth submitted that to be a national holiday?  Jewelers?  Forget it.  I am going to go with (and I am not making this up -- hi, Julie) ... it is freaking national OPEN AN UMBRELLA INDOORS DAY.  Yay!!  Superstitions be ding-danged, right before a lucky holiday like St. Patty's Day, the powers that be (again, whoevertheyare) are giving the general public the liberty to ... well, FEEL liberated! So, dude.  open those umbrellas.  Prance around your office like Gene Kelly would have done had he had the cajones to open an umbrella indoors.  Are you a school teacher?  Prance down the hall; I just dare ya.  Are you in a cubicle?  Go into the bathroom, flush the toilet, and prance out with your parasol.  Go to each co-worker and with your best dirty Harry impression say, "Feelin' lucky, punk?"  and open it up with panache.  I think I love this holiday.  Forget luck, you're blessed.  Right?  Riiiiiight?????  RIGHT!!!!!!!!

March 12 - Alfred Hitchcock Day!!

I could talk about this one for days,  It also happens to be Organize Your Home Office Day, which is also absolutely tempting, but since doing that would feed my compulsions that could last for hours ... instead I will chat about THREE random things I know concerning ol' Al.

1.  I know he was scared of cops because his dad had some officer lock him in a cell for several hours when he was a tike of six years old.  I don't know the details, but ... yikes.  I wonder what he did to deserve it ... but, haha, I sure bet he did!

2.  I know he continuously pranked his actors like sending Peter Lorre a suit that was even too tiny for the small actor or sending Tippi Hedren's daughter a birthday doll of her mother dressed in The Birds costume ... in a wee coffin.  REALLY???  Oh yeah, has anyone ever considered remaking that movie with that little girl as the lead?  Her name is Melanie Griffith and I don't THINK she is too old to play that role ... can be done by a 50-something, right?  ;-)

3.  I know, okay, everybody knows that he made random (okay 37) cameos in many (ok, 57) films.  But I have this that I put together to have it running during an Alfred Hitchcock Halloween party we threw and I think it is pretty cool.  It's a collection of cameos bookended with bit of fun trivia and a Hitchcock/Disney guessing game.  OH well.  Enjoy.  If you're really bored at work, that is ...

MARCH 11 - Johnny Appleseed Day

Johnny Appleseed is a folk hero based on frontier nurseryman John Chapman, who established orchards throughout the American Midwest.  He was born on September 26, 1774, in Leominster, Massachusetts. Chapman was an eccentric frontier nurseryman who established orchards throughout the American Midwest. He became the basis of the folk hero Johnny Appleseed, who has been the subject of countless stories, movies and works of art. Chapman died of pneumonia on March 18, 1845 in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Okay, that is the short version.  And now, in honour of Chapman, here is everything I know about apples.

1.  They are grown in every single state in the US ... apparently thanks to this overzealous dude.
2,  God didn't make little green apples....was sung by the same guy who played Alan A'Dale, the minstrel rooster in Walt Disney's Robin Hood, who dissed Walt Disneyland in the same song, if ya think about it. lol
3.  The best apples IN THE WORLD are grown in New Zealand ... Granny Smith apples, which, I know, are grown elsewhere, but gimme a bias to my birthplace.
4.  I eat a LOT of them if I ever, errrrm ... "need fiber."  Otherwise, I'm not very good at eating them. The average person eats about 65 apples each year.  I am not average.  I fail this statistic.  Well, until I have to poop.
5.  There is a "fear of apples."  It is called malusdomesticaphobia.  I've known it exists, but I have to look it up every time to confirm the name (for obvious reasons, I mean malusdomesticaphobia, really?).  Anyway, I have looked it up to see if I had it.  I don't.  I have onlywanttheminapplepie-ia.  They taste great, but they will sit in a bowl for days until I HAVE to make apple pie out of them .. *wink wink*

I'm sure there is way more to know about apples, but I don't know these things ... aaaaaand I don't personally care.  The fact that Johnny Appleseed was probably one dude who was an overzealous preacher gives me no surprise at all.

10 March - LIFE IN THE CRACKS DAY, what?

I did a search for what it means to celebrate life in the cracks and came up with bupkis even though a whole slew of writers explained it down to ... errr ... nothing.

Studies prove that over 80% of all people living on the planet in the last five decades believe life exists in the cracks. Some feel life slips through those cracks. Still, no matter how you look at it, there is a shindig going on in those thin slivers and today’s the day you can join the fun....exploring the world, mind you, not the plumber's butt ... anyway,  I'm trying to decide what to explore today -- how about you?  Today maybe I'll book a trip to somewhere you'd never guess I'd go or maybe I'll just scream, "I WON!!" after getting money out of the ATM.  I can't decide.  And it's too late in the day, so I think I'm just going to go order a Happy Meal at McDonald's ... but I'm going to order it, "...with extra happy."  :-)

"I had to trust life and believe that life loved the person who dared to live it." - Maya Angelou

(and no, I don't know what "studies" prove the 80% thing ... stupid internet)

9 March -- National Panic Day

Admit it, die hard writers, blocks are tough. Where is the inspiration?  Why are my ideas devoid of meaty brilliance??  Sometimes, it just happens.  And happens.  And ... do you notice the lack of consistent publication in my blog dates here?  ;-)  Anyway, in an attempt to write every day, look forward to it, and laugh a little, I have chosen to write about the stupid holidays.  Not the ones we actually like and celebrate semi-worldwide and put on our calendars.  Instead, I have chosen to acknowledge the lame ones that no one gets out of school to celebrate and that someone probably sent in as a request to the powersthatbe-whoevertheyare after they had too much helium with a friend or two. At any rate, here is the first one ... at least for MY year.  The first one seems mildly appropriate since this is also the year I went on panic medication for a time (don't ask ... yet).  Gee, I can't wait for the mildly INappropriate ones!  Anyway ...

NATIONAL PANIC DAY is celebrated on March 09. This day is your chance to push the panic button for all your problems and troubles: be worried and concerned in a panic way!

I am kinda panicking because I just started a blog again, I don't know if I'm going to have the time to write, I have new-ish people in my home, I have to pick up my kid, in like, 5 minutes, I sent in a resume somewhere (AGAIN -- what if I actually get the gig???),  and to top it all off, WHY DO SEVERAL RESOURCES SAY THIS DAY IS IN JUNE???  WHAT?  WHY?  THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.  I HAVE TO PANIC AGAIN IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS?????  (Clearly, that won't be an issue at all.)  I think I have that down like the two step (the only dance I still remember besides the club show from college that I remembered for 13 years until suddenly I couldn't).  Anyway, Arthur Clarke, a british scifi writer, says that Douglas Adams' advice for intergallactic travel ("don't panic") was perhaps the greatest advice that could be given to humanity.  Truth.  I think I'll buy a t-shirt with that on the front.  But wait ... I have too many kitchy t-shirts.  WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY T-SHIRTS?  WHY DO I WANT TO GET ANOTHER ONE WHEN I JUST BOUGHT TWO LAST WEEKEND??  AND OH CRAP I HAVE TO GET TO THE SCHOOL!!  OMG I JUST POSTED PANIC DAY A DAY EARLY YESTERDAY???  ACK I SAID 'ANYWAY' THREE TIMES??

Aaaaaaand, I'm done here.

Happy National Panic Day
AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!