Wednesday, May 25, 2016

May 25 - National Towel Day

WHY A TOWEL?  Well ... 

"... a towel ... is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch-hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini-raft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough."
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

SO.  In honor of towel day I am going to carry one around with me all day and see who asks why I am carrying it.  When they do (and some will), instead of going into afore-quoted Adams passage, I plan to nod and say one of these brief responses, whether they make sense to the situation or not:

"Mostly harmless."  OR
"So long and thanks for all the fish." OR
"Time is an allusion; lunchtime doubly so." OR ...

...my favourite ... I will simply nod and say, "42."


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

May 24 - Scavenger Hunt Day

I celebrated this day by finding a school library book in the depths of one of our cars in order to not have to pay $15 for it on the last day of school.  Go me!!

Um, I'm a mom now.  Scavenger Hunt Day is EVERY day.

I'm done here.  ;-)

Saturday, May 14, 2016

May 14 - Train Day

 did not even mean to do this, but on train day our youngest and I took to the rails near our house.  It was a sudden decision and happened after we had sneaked out of the house to get some Thai food and DQ ... something we can't do with any other person in the house!  Then again, everyone likes DQ ... but I digress ...

We saw one gentleman who was there to watch after the junction and he was fine with us exploring.  Explore, we did.  We climbed the trains which were all freight rails and found a few ties that had come out at one point and rusted.  We were allowed to come home with a bag full of them.  We also had a bag full a memories ... most of them made up as we created completely-false-but-feasible stories about why the railroad spikes were there.

Train Day celebrates all things trains.  Enthusiasts about the humble beginnings of locomotive transportation to engineers creating the future of travel, groups across the USA are pondering the CHOO CHOO and gathering train stuff.

Yet I could not keep myself from giggling because I kept singing Boil that Cabbage Down a la The Smothers Brothers and resisted the urge to look over my shoulder for vicious pumas in the crevasses.

Happy Train Day, aficionados!  This is for you.  ;-)




Friday, May 13, 2016

May 13 - Friday the 13th - Blame Someone Else!

Today is National Blame Someone Else Day, an unofficial national day that was invented by Anne Moeller of Michigan around 1982 or something.  Apparently one morning her alarm failed to go off ... followed by a string of bad luck throughout the day ... which happened to be Friday the 13th.

Sounds like she had Alexander's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day ... and got back at it by making it a national holiday??  Waaaa waaaaa waaaaaaaa ....  baby.  But I jest.  Since I don't know what things happened to her I have no room to tease-whine, but I must say that this stupid Friday the 13th gets way more traction than it should.  I mean, equal employment act was adopted on Friday the 13th in October of 1967.  THAT'S awesome.  Also, Benjamin Franklin said that famous quote about death and taxes.  I don't know if that's GOOD necessarily, but it's not entirely horrid.  For some.

I also heard the first nudist colony was founded in the UK on this day.  And I'll bet someone got lucky that day too.  It may be Friday the 13th and if something inauspicious happens to me I am going to blame someone else for everything.  You know, like my kids do.  *wink*

Anyway, yeah, so maybe nothing AMAZING is celebrated or remembered on this day, but hey, it's just a day.  Someone wonderful is born and someone wonderful dies.  And life goes on.  

Thursday, May 12, 2016

May 12 - Limerick Day



 There once was a girl from Nantucket...

Okay, so most people know THAT much and many only assume the following rhyme.  At any rate, it's limerick day and this day celebrates the birthday of English artist, author, poet and illustrator Edward Lear who is known for his nonsensical limericks.  The wee poems were popularized by his book of poetry which he aptly titled "Book of Nonsense."

Anyhoo...how to celebrate...how to celebrate...hmmm I just don't KNOW!  *wink*

I'm sitting right here on my arse
Trying to plot a new farce
I'll write it with Beth
It's not Cake or Death
But will end with the same two word parse!

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

May 11 - Eat What You Want Day

Score.  I'm going to Starbucks.  To celebrate EAT WHAT YOU WANT DAY I am going to share with you something off the Secret Menu at Starbucks.  For you Harry Potter fans, have you ever wanted to take your muggle-self to Hogsmeade?  Have a Butterbeer at ye olde starbucks by asking for a creme frappuccino base (don't skip on the fat on this one--considering the day and all--whole milk gives it a better consistency).  Add 3 pumps of caramel syrup, 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup, and top that baby with caramel drizzle.  Sound like it could kill you with sugar?  This is possible, but you're a wizard and all ... you've cheated death before.  Oooo!  And this also makes a lovely latte.

Fiction is great, isn't it?

Oh yeah, and there is a Green Master Frappuccino for Star Wars fans who consider Yoda their personal trainer.  Ask for a Green Tea Frappuccino, add java chips, and then top it with whipped cream and caramel drizzle.  OR try a Storm Trooper Frappuccino by starting with a Vanilla Ceme Frappuccino made with syrup (not powder) and top it with whipped cream and mocha drizzle.

Sounds like a yummy, fun thing to include in Eat What You Want Day ... besides, we all know there is really no "secret menu" there.  I know I'm pushing the eat what you want idea with #nevermindDRINKcrapanddie.  Anyhoo, just ask for what you want; these are recipes that people who have a strong caffeine addiction have created and SB is more than happy to fill their bank account with money for your personal creations.  

Maybe to celebrate this day I am going to make up my OWN drink.  Hmmm ... hmmmm ... I know!  The Theatre Diva Latte.  It's an empty cup, of course.  If you're a good actor, no one will know!


Sunday, May 8, 2016

May 8 - NO SOCKS DAY

In honour of NO SOCKS DAY, I took a picture of this in my laundry room.  

Enough said?


Saturday, May 7, 2016

May 7 - Barrier Awareness Day

Visible and invisible barriers are equally difficult to overcome.  With support, deliberate learning and mindfulness these obstacles can be raised and enable people with disabilities to live more liberated and self-fulfilled lives.  I can think of several people I know who have some form of disability but their determination to ignore naysayers and live out their dreams is nothing short of inspirational.  My impulse is to list a few but I dare not draw attention to a disability.  Instead, I will tell you what they do and pass on the inspiration.  Here are some things that have been accomplished by people I know personally with a serious disability:  hairdresser, preacher, mechanic, actor, singer, author, teacher, and athletic class instructor.

I did not begin with the famous … Beethoven, Van Gogh, Frido Kahlo, Stephen Hawking.  And how about freaking Helen Keller?  All of these people did not want to be known for their physical difficulties, they ... just ... did.  So, let me pass on one word of advice on this day which was passed on to me by a hearing impaired friend.  "Telling someone they are 'inspirational' can be just as insulting as focusing on the disability."   

Capische?   May that little nugget inspire all of us to ... just ... DO.

Oh ... and P.S. ... it is also Naked Gardening Day. So I'm going to tear that barrier down right now!  *wink*

Friday, May 6, 2016

May 6 - Beverage Day

Well ... this could be fun.

I am currently at a Thai café in order to write before I meet a friend because I still want to give her this much belated birthday gift.  Therefore ...

I am going to try the sugar cane drink.  And this scares me ... a lot.  Pure sugar cane water or what?  What IS it?  I like to suck on sugar cane in Honduras on occasion but ... ew?  I almost changed my mind and ordered sweet tea like a true southerner but I hate it when others do that ... AND I did not know it was the theme of the day until I read my list.  So I am challenged.  I'm doing it.

I have to wait because they are brewing it.  Good sign.  I hope.  *jeopardy theme here*

Okay.  I hate it.  BUT that is just an opinion, it's not horrid (not spew-worthy), and it does remind me of my old home in the aforementioned deep, DEEP south.   Not the deep south of Texas or even Tennessee ... I meant the one where I sucked on sugar cane in a mango tree.

Apparently this day celebrates ALL beverages ... and not just the coffee that many hungover Americans are drinking today.  #cincodemayo #seisdeborrachos

So kick back and enjoy your favourite drink today.  May it be an afternoon of pleasure and relaxation.  Or suck on some sugar cane.  #HURRYUPBETHBEFOREIGETSOMETHINGWEIRD

-ER.
Peace out.

I hope I'm at the right place...




Wednesday, May 4, 2016

May 4 - National Star Wars Day

Well, if there were ever a holiday that encapsulated a culture ...

Star Wars originally opened in theatres late in May of 1977.  Two years later in the same month, on, well, May 4, a Danish writer sent a congratulatory message to Margaret Thatcher who had on the same day taken office as the prime minister.  She referenced the (quickly becoming) iconic film and congratulated her by saying, "May the 4th be with you, Maggie."  *giggle giggle snort snort*  Years later (somewhere in the 90s) this phrase was smirkingly repeated in Parliament but it wasn't until a few years ago that this day was to become an actual international holiday ... and geek cheers were heard around the world.

Okay, my claim to geekdom is the fact that I have, in fact, stood in line on opening night for every last film, including the first two in 1977 and 1980 with my dad, in 1983 with my freshmen bffs, in 1999 as a newlywed with my hubby, a groomsman and his really cool dad in tow, in 2002 and 2005 with Dave (of course), and in 2015 for the latest installment we were in line wearing handmade "I love you/I know" matching sweatshirts.  We also have matching bracelets with the same reference.  Does that make us crazy?  Oh HECK yeah ... and we plan to pass it on to the kids this December. *grin*

Yep, celebrating by dressing up as a storm trooper or hosting a movie marathon is completely acceptable (and expected!) on this day.  As for me, I am celebrating by writing this blurb and I'll just continue wearing my Star-Wars-Muppet mashup t-shirt, but I may also put blue food colouring in my son's milk tonight à la Aunt Buru.  And, even though I am not a Catholic, I will probably not be able to help myself if anyone says to me, "May the fourth be with you," by responding,

                                                                                                         "...and also with you."  Tee hee hee.

If ONLY I had saved every ticket stub.  But in 1977 with episode IV ... I mean, really ... who knew?

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

May 3 - Paranormal Activity Day

Paranormal simply means out-of-the-realm of normal, or, er, what the larger population considers normal.  In that case, my entire life is paranormal!  But, I know you know what I mean.

Dare I take this opportunity to promote CAKE OR DEATH, a play which needs a few more productions in order to publish ... it is a comic farce that peeks into the life of Emily and her two cohabitants, Lenore and Freedom, ghosts who passed away twenty-two years apart in the same apartment.  As the story unfurls, Emily sheds light onto the deaths of her two cohabitants, only to find out that if they don't move quickly, she could be the next one to kick the bucket!  It is an incredibly entertaining play about life, death, metaphysics, Shakespeare, James Dean, and The Wizard of Oz.  Yeah, if there are any takers out there who would like to read the script, let me know!!!

But I digress.  ;)

Each year on this day, people who believe (or have simply experienced) paranormal activities are encouraged to share their experiences with each other.

So, let's do it!  Let's share some stuff that has happened to us that cannot be explained away by ordinary scientific measures.

Okay, I'll go first.

After moving into this house I woke up and saw a guy in a floppy hat sitting cross-legged on the little deacon's bench in our bedroom.  It kinda scared the living hooey out of me at first and then after he vanished I just went back to sleep.  I later heard from our neighbour that the previous owner, since deceased, used to wear a floppy hat and described the same one ... before I told her about this!

I've got a few more, but ... you go!


Sunday, May 1, 2016

May 1 - Save the Rhino Day

Reginald was an angry rhinoceros.  
No one knew why he was angry.  He just was.  
Some rhinos are like that.  
Some people are like that too.

Reginald’s anger and generally bad mood 
quickly spread to all of the animals 
in the woodlands, marshes, grasslands, 
savannas, mud wallows, and shade trees. 
Reginald, who would rather go by “Redge,” 
thank you, was constantly angered by the 
tiniest thing.

Redge was a vegetarian.  
He never ate meat.  
He only ate leaves, buds and 
shoots of plants, bushes and trees.  He was especially fond of Acacia tree leaves. 

One day Redge was having lunch at Jasmine the Jackal’s place.  
They were laughing and having a good time until she brought in a plate of spaghetti … 
and MEAT balls!  This made Redge angry at Jasmine because she 
should have remembered that he never ate meat.

He stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed 
and yawped!  “Everyone knows Jackals don’t think of anyone but themselves!  
Bellowing tick birds, Jasmine!”  and charged out the door. 

Jasmine was stunned at his language and cried for two hours.

Later that day, Redge was drinking water at a nearby stream when he heard banjo music.
“That can’t be good,” he said.  Coming toward him on a bicycle was Quentin, 
a vervet monkey, riding hands-free and playing a banjo. “Hey Redge!”  he waved.

Redge tried to be nice.  “Do you want one of my jam sandwiches?”  “Sure!” Quentin said.
  He couldn’t believe Redge was being so pleasant.  
They sat by the stream and the monkey talked and talked and talked. 

“Thanks for the sandwich!”  Quentin said before tossed his banjo over his shoulders 
and got back on his bicycle.  But as he was about to ride off, Redge thought he saw several 
of the jam sandwiches in Quentin’s basket.  This made him mad.

Redge stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed 
and yawped!  “Everyone knows vervet monkeys steal things!  
Sweaty, hairless hippos, Quentin!”  and charged away. 

Quentin was hurt by his Redge’s words … and he rode home very sad.

Redge went to his favourite Acacia tree to sit under it, chew on its leaves, and pout … 
but when he arrived, he was surprised to see two giraffes had already eaten 
almost all of his leaves!  This made Redge really mad. 

He stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed 
and yawped! “Everyone knows giraffes are stupid and don’t take baths!  
Hump muzzled wildebeests!”  and charged away.

The giraffes were shocked at his language, but went back to chewing their leaves.

Redge was walking and pouting when he smelled something terrible.  
Then he looked around.  He had walked right into a pack of hyenas.

As he slowly backed away he backed right into a very odd looking hyena with a frying pan
 on his head. “Ow!”  said the hyena.  “You stepped on my foot!”   Redge was scared.

But the hyena only stuck out a paw and laughed. “That’s all right, friend.  Call me Hershey.” 
 Redge gingerly shook his paw.  “I didn’t catch your name, chum,” asked Hershey. 
 Redge took a deep breath.  “My name is … is … Reginald.”  There was silence. 
 A long silence.

Then one hyena started to giggle. 

And another. 

And another. 

And forty-two.  “Reginald!”  “That’s brilliant!”  “It’s fantastic!”  “What a funny name for a rhino!” 

The hyenas laugh was so contagious that Hershey, who was trying to contain himself, 
burst out into an uncontrollable laugh.  And Redge got angry.  Very angry. 

Redge stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed and 
yawped!  But the hyenas laughed harder.  “Oh my,” said Redge, “It IS a funny name…”

Yes, he stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; 
he screeched and squealed and yawped!  Thinking he was putting on a show, 
the hyenas laughed even harder than before.

So he stomped and snorted and pouted and screamed; he screeched and squealed and  …   and …

    … giggled.  The hyenas’ cackles were so funny that Redge just could not stop his own 
laughter. 

Hershey finally caught his breath, “I’m sorry, Redge.  “We’re hyenas.  It’s what we do.  
Laughter is an instant vacation!  When you laugh, everyone is cheerful and relaxed.  
It makes you think a lot less of your problems … and it sure feels better than being mad.”  
Redge couldn’t believe it.  It DID feel better!  So instead …

He chuckled and giggled and snickered and hooted and chortled and gasped and wheezed!   

Then Hershey chuckled and giggled and snickered and hooted and chortled and 
gasped and wheezed!

Redge and the hyenas laughed on into the night and well into the next morning.  
Once Redge laughed so hard he fell down and rolled on his back and almost 
squashed poor Hershey, who had never seen a rhino laugh that much … 
which made him laugh even harder. 

They passed Quentin the Vervet Monkey, who was up in his tree, sadly playing his banjo.  
Then Redge noticed that what he saw in Quentin’s basket were not sandwiches at all, 
but blocks of Quentin’s favourite cheese! So he apologized, left all of his 
jam sandwiches with Quentin’s family, and decided he needed to get his eyes checked.

When they passed the grazing giraffes, they shared some leaves from the Acacia tree.

Even Jasmine the Jackal couldn’t help her laughter when Redge showed up 
at her door offering her a bouquet of Acacia leaves with a hyena on his shoulders! 

Reginald’s new laughter and generally good mood quickly spread to all 
of the animals in the woodlands, marshes, grasslands, savannas, mud wallows, 
and shade trees.

Reginald was a happy rhino.  No one knew why he was happy; he just was.  
Some rhinos are like that.  Especially Reginald.  Some people are like that too.

May 25 - National Towel Day

WHY A TOWEL?   Well ...  "... a towel ... is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch-hiker can have. Partly ...